


Would you serve under me?

by TrekDr



Series: Holodeck fluff and humour [1]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode: s01e01 Caretaker, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Holodecks/Holosuites, J/C relationship, Post-Endgame, life on the Val Jean, not quite an AU to caretaker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 11:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13880118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrekDr/pseuds/TrekDr
Summary: In the bit of life between getting home and restarting, Janeway and Chakotay play some 'what if' games on the holodeck.He had asked her a question what seems a lifetime ago. He thinks he knows the answer, but is given a means to find out, well maybe!A story from Chakotay's pov





	Would you serve under me?

**Author's Note:**

> In this universe they have got together and are happy  
> [currently my post endgame 'fix' is residing on fanfic awaiting a major rewrite before being put on here, but this fic stands alone!]  
> This fic has been psted on fanfic, but I have done a bit of a rewrite to it. Should have at least one more chapter,  
> I'm not an AU writer, but this allows me to consider some AU ideas whilst still in my head canon.  
> I hope you enjoy.

'Captain, a moment please' I turn, always ready to greet the man behind the sonorous voice. He has been absent for too long it seems, and I am suprised to find that have missed him. once his presence grated, but not for many years. I realise i have missed not just his rational counsel, but his extensive knowledge and support. I have truly missed him, the Vulcan who perhaps I have been remiss in not acknowledging as a friend. Here we are, at the reception in our honour, dripping with the medals that are superfluous for both of us. I am pleased to be in his company.

'Tuvok!' and my enthusiastic smile and hand to his shoulder come as a surprise to him.

'I have a ... gift.' and he surprises me by placing his hand on my shoulder so we stand as brothers, and he gazes seemingly into my soul to see the truth there. The truth that i am honoured by our friendship.

in all our years I have never received a gift from Tuvok. At various times our personal relationship has been fraught. In fact initially even our professional relationship was fraught, caught by multiple snags of his betrayal, my position above in the chain of command, our differences in command style. All of these leading to undercurrents of rivalry which would inevitably spill out as we jostled for the only thing that really mattered, her good opinion. Over time we adjusted, I to his betrayal as I also gave my loyalty to the Captain and realised that he also was her bondsman. He adjusted to my place in her life.

Our professional selves meshed, we made a good tactical team, sometimes reining in our Captain through coordinated movement, but more commonly adjusting to her vision and finding that we were in step.

Privately we became reserved again as my relationship with Kathryn waxed and waned, when she was wounded by my disconnect, after Teero, when he couldn't meet my eyes due to his own desperate shame in failing her. Finally as he saw my fledgeling dalliance, aware from the very start i also could not meet the challenge in his eyes.

Now though, I have returned to my truth, and therefore to our partnership. We are both liege-men to a singular leader and bondsmen to her person.

As we break apart from our greeting, he surprises me further by handing over a holoprogramme chip.

'I was given this as tactical preparation. I am not sure that you would have use for it... however...' and he nods, finishing the gift giving.

'I hope to see you both well rested at the end of our leave period. Congratulations on your marriage, promotion and family.' All of this is delivered in his standard grave and measured tones with minimal inflection. Years of close working and I wonder whether I truly sense the restful joy behind the last phrase, or whether my human sensitivity ascribes him this emotion.

'I believe that your marriage has the opportunity to bring both of you great joy. However, I hope that you continue with your counselling... I regret that I missed the opportunity to intervene or advise in our final year due to the progression of my illness... I lost the necessary ... balance ... required, and nearly the bond link of my own. I never truly recovered from Quarra, and it was only on looking back after my treatment that I saw that neither did she. ' i look again at him in surprise, I had thought that it was my faithlessness that had caused the loss of our friendship, not his own guilt. My mind starts reworking this last difficult year. Spirits but Quarra was in very truth the beginning of our final decline.

I reject his guilt, 'Tuvok, that last year was too hard for all of us. kathryn was stumbling, you were ill, i lost my sense of peace. We did the best we could, and it was enough.'

'barely' and his impassive face nearly smiles 'she came back to save us, the three of us.' and we both pause to reflect on the weighty truth of that. A love that surpassed the laws of time. We both turn to gaze on Kathryn, Admiral Janeway, as she flits from admirals and politicians to Voyager families, spreading herself thin to honour Voyager.

'Kathryn Janeway has a position in my life that is unusual in Vulcan society. She is more important than a mere friend, however close, and I value her life, welbeing and happiness as greatly as if she were my bonded mate, though with no desire in that direction. She is also not loved as perhaps my child, as I see her as an equal despite our disparate ages.' 

He pauses as he collects his thoughts 'that being the case, I believe that I would have a negative view should she be hurt in any way. As much as you can entrust someone as ... reckless... into another's care, I exhort you to keep her well' and in his imperturbable way he accomplishes his purpose. I am aware of both the support and the threat, and that in this case it will be fulfilled. I am reminded subtly of a promise I made on a different Earth, and nod.

'I have so promised'

'It was an honour to serve with you, on both vessels, and I look forward to doing so again' Tuvok continues, with a change of subject and referencing our roles when Voyager is refitted. Perhaps once I would have resigned myself to Tuvok as first Officer, now I find it faintly reassuring.

And whilst I murmur my surprised 'Thank you', he has moved on to the exuberant embrace of Tom before gently extracting himself from champagne enhance bonhomie. He turns to Miral and takes her to allow B'Elanna and Tom to mingle more freely. I am struck that we never considered how harsh the loss of his family had been for Tuvok, hidden behind the invulnerable exterior.

i turn the chit in my hand. I wonder...

-0-0-0-

'come on Kathryn, i think you will enjoy it!' I ignore her as she moans her way out from the Adirondack chair on the Indiana porch, nurturing the mug of chamomile tea her mother has insisted on. 'I'm comfy Chakotay' she pleads ' and you did say I should factor in more rest now we're back...' she lets that tail off, looking beseechingly at me. i laugh heartlessly. I can see the padd, she just has her nose stuck into the latest specs of her peregrine falcon admiral's yacht. 'rest!' I huff at her.

'Kathryn love, we have a question to explore!' and I know that will do it. If there is something my Kathryn gets up for, it is intrigue and mystery. It has been nearly a month since we last visited a holosuite together. We have been exploring, enjoying and delighting in real life on a real planet with real people. however, in our moments of quietness i have expanded on the programme Tuvok gave me, making a story, borrowing the characters back from Tuvok's other training programme. It is now ready.

I pick up the required clothing from our replicator and some that we own before we beam to starfleet headquarters.

'chakotay, why here! we are on leave. Oh, shall we see if Owen is in?' and I growl a negative as she smirks. She is trying me. We arrive at the holosuite anteroom and I privacy lock before giving her her uniform and bundling her into a changing cubicle. I have no wish to derail this be changing together. At hr muffled curses about how hard it is to return to uniform, and some distinctly Klingon expletives around her changed shape, my grin widens.

I stride out waiting for her in my leathers as she joins, a distinctly starfleet captain. Her longer hair is once again in a bun, even if softer and less primped than in our early years and her captains pips are perfectly aligned. I cannot help the smile of appreciation.

'well hello... Captain' a hand of hers flies to a hip and her chin juts upwards, I interrupt her even as she draws breath. 'so shall we see? whether you would serve under me if our situations were reversed?' She raises an eyebrow and her half grin steals across her lips. 'let's do it' she drawls and stalks ahead of me and enters the Voyager bridge.

-0-0-0-

ha! we have got to that moment! in the start of this programme she was on voyager just after the caretaker brought us here. I watched her try and save everyone, trying to work out what would push her to accept serving under me, searching for the thing that is going to send her hurtling towards me, a dangerous projectile of starfleet intent. I have you Kathryn!

She visits the caretaker a slightly speedier version this time as I know just how frustrated she felt last time. I try not to laugh from myview point as even with the shorter version, and the direct investigation she is still equally frustrated, i had thought increased command experience over the years would have given her more equanimity. Or maybe I am better able to spot the subtle signs that play around her eyes and jaw. Finally, he has taken someone. Because I love her, and this person is going to be lost, it is an imaginary Lt Zimmerman, which makes her smile when, as she still has Harry, she asks the computer if there is anyone missing on return. Smiles long enough to not see the warp core breach that is going to explode her ship, Carey not being engineer enough to effect a rescue and she is too far away. It doesn't stop her from staying on the bridge, frantically inputting commands into the engineering station whilst her remnant crew arc away in the escape pods after her frantic order to abandon ship, through space to the hoped haven of the Ocampan planet.

A haven that she knows is a mirage.

She told them all to go armed and with medkits and emergency rations. She also told pilots and tactics to take the 2 shuttles and prepare to defend. Always a tactitian. She placed Carey in charge in one with Kim as his second in the other, perhaps appreciating that at this point in the journey Paris would have been unable to command and lead, no-one would follow. Even choosing Harry is a brave move. Carey I understand. They speed away from this story to a future unknown and undrawn.

Paris hasn't left, he comes towards her, telling her they have to leave now, and even though it is the holodeck, her captain impulses don't leave her, and for once she starts to go with him, knowing since she can't save the ship her crew will need her. Not to save her life, but that of her crew. I smile wryly, spirits, I am going to have to keep a close eye on her when we go go back to active duty. Or keep her out of the action. huh! probability of that, zero. Here is my moment.

'Val Jean to Voyager'

'on screen'

'our sensors show you have a critical malfunction of the warp core, captain? i will transport you to our ship'

i don't wait to see how she is reacting and go off screen. the holodeck transforms into the liberty transporter room and I walk through the door.

-0-0-0-

i nearly have to halt programme just to laugh. Kathryn is berating B'Elanna, who is giving just as much grief back as B'Ella slips into Klingon, so does Kathryn and they are really hammering away. From the federation standard portion of this argument, Kathryn wants to be immediately transported to the planet. Like Hell she will be! I have a suspicion that I am already seeing the answer to whether she would serve under me! B'ella is teling her she isn't in charge, and that's not how things are done on this ship. Kathryn appeals for her crew, beleaguered on a strange planet as far away from home as it is possible to be.

Kathryn, somewhat amazingly is already being able to suborn my B'Ella, who is programmed as the angry confused klingon she was. I can see that B'ella is seeing the value and truth in whatever this discussion is. i could do with some damned universal translators. Looking at Paris, who is looking rather too avidly at Kathryn for my liking - and I hope I don't appear so drooling and adoring - I need to get this story back on track.

'Kathryn Janeway, welcome aboard. b'ella, take Tom to the bridge and plot any course out of here at maximum warp.'

Immediately the two stop arguing, but the respite is brief. Spirits but they are so similar! they swivel to face me as one, glaring with angry eyes and resistant faces. The Janeway chin up and hand on hip of no surrender, and the Torres head shake and wildly flailing arms. Two women I love both approaching me with menace. Spitfire and Hellcat. Spirits but the temptation is to alt the programme and kiss the hell out of Kathryn. I had forgotten just what a passionately angry Kathryn did to me. Damn. No wonder the delta quadrant kept me keen.

'put me back on the planet with my crew this instant. how dare you think I would abandon them!'/'how dare you abandon Seska! you may not be together but she is one of us, and we don't leave her behind'

'enough!' I bellow. 'soon all the scavengers of this region will be arriving, and we just don't have the firepower to keep safe' I am angry at having to justify my position. I am captain!

'if we just pull out of range to regroup then...'/'we better damn well be coming back, p'tak'

'I said ENOUGH!' and I truly shout this in full command and get instant silence. I know that it won't last.

'Torres, I don't expect to tell you again' and with a glare she pulls an openly gaping Paris out of the door. Moments later I feel us going to warp.

'Kathryn Janeway' I try again, this time with a hint of menace in my voice, and I see the flare of lust in her eyes. 'We need to talk the terms of your surrender' and I walk out, knowing that she will be so angry that she will follow.

'you maquis bastard!' she starts 'why the hell couldn't you have let me contact my crew at least before we left'

I open the door into my quarters, which doubles as my office, and order her 'sit down'. As she hesitates 'now!' she flashes a look at me. 'Janeway, I cannot have insubordination on my ship. Sit and we will talk terms, or you can go back to the transporter room and into space' and I say this in my rational, even voiced unperturbed drawl. Slight amusement in my features as I watch her decide.

'we could have just done this the easy way' I offer. Her captain's mask is in position, and I know that currently I rank with the Hirogen, with the Borg, mokra, and with every damn species that has tried to separate her from the wield of her crew. She sits.

'Mr Chakotay' with a gravel rasped drawl of her own. 'you have few options. I agree that the scavengers will be soon drawn to the explosion of Voyager [and I am sure we are both thinking of the caretaker array too] and a tactical withdrawal was an option. I would have hidden behind the planet'

I nod at this 'a planetary hide was an option, but I have no plans to return, so best get the hell out while we still can' and I wait, knowing she can't or won't accept this. Honestly, its not something I would have done either. I just want to see what argument she will put on the table. 'after all, I am assuming your crew will swifly become slaves of the dominant race here' I can feel her 'over my dead body' even if she doesn't say it out loud.

'Mister Chakotay' oh damn, it is her voice of complete reasonableness 'I am not sure what resources your ship has, but I wonder if you have any refreshments whilst we discuss our position'

I grin 'our position? tut tut Janeway, it is my position. If you can propose a plan that I am willing to accept, then we can consider whether there is any merit in an our position' I watch her try not to bit her lower lip 'Ayala, can you bring two beers to my quarters' her eyes flash.

We are silent until Ayala comes in, smirking appreciatively at our captured starfleet captain. A lesser woman might feel uncomfortable, not Kathryn. Even without her knowledge, she would have been safe on my ship. It might have been maquis rebel, and clearly full of spies, but it was tight ship, a safe ship. I am more surprised when she gives him a lascivious look from under eyelashes. My heart sinks as I realise that she already has a plan, and it probably doesn't involve me as Captain long term.

I subdue my emotions as I watch her manfully drinking the beer, her least favourite drink. I have programmed it to be synthehol. 'I don't believe that you think we ecan survive in this ship, can make it back to the alpha quadrant?' she starts.

I shrug 'the alpha quadrant doesn't hold much for us, Janeway. A planet that might accept us, or become traders. We are used to adapting' and i give a short laugh.

'with my crew, we could take a bigger ship, chakotay, one of those that will be coming to investigate the wreckage. they won't be expecting an attack. If they are peaceable [and we both know they are not] we can negotiate, if they are not, we have your ship and 2 shuttles of mine, and we can put our tactitians and engineers on. We can use the transporters of our three ships whilst their shields are down. think about it, chakotay, one of those big Kazon vessels' and I realise she has forgotten that this is the holo-adventure, and she is plotting with me, like we always used to. Like those early years where we could bounce ideas around.

I swig my beer and pretend to think long and hard about her proposal whilst she adds details and plans, as she tlks she hones the finer plan, it becomes more and more achievable. Spirits, she is good. I know this, clearly, as we wouldn't have made it home otherwise, but that was making it home the starfleet way. This, this plan of hers is all maquis. It is credible. i know I would have agreed then, and i agree now. With my seven year additional knowledge i am aware that if I don't agree i will find that B'Ella and Mike have agreed behind my back and it will be mutiny. Damn!

'ok, janeway' I put my beer down and walk towards the bridge 'give it your best shot'.

-0-0-0-

'Janeway, this is Tuvok - number one, Torres - engineer, Ayala - security , Bendera - ops, Nicoletti - comms and you know Paris - helm. These are my key players. If, and only if, this works out then we can talk about your position.' and she curls her lip at me and raises an eyebrow. 'lets talk' and i introduce the plan and Kathryn then adds to it, owning the discussion, mostly with her authoritative and well determined plan as well as well as her well honed leadership. She neither apologises for her starfleet behaviours, not does she pander to the maquis. She just accepts they have skills that she will need to utilise, and they accept that she can make this work.

Soon Torres is stalking out with an excited buzz with upgrades to deliver, Ayala and Tuvok are planning distraction attacks with the Val Jean and two runabouts. Tuvok plans to join Carey on one of the runabouts whilst Ayala stays on the Val Jean. Kathryn adds her opinion, hands waging, eyes sparking and her subtle half grin lights the room. I here the 'do it!' forcefully spoken, and it is as if the years roll away and we truly are back at the beginning of our journey. Bendera is planning the route back and will then join Kim on a runabout. Back and forth the discussion and plans have gone, with excitement and enthusiasm growing from my people to match Kathryn's own. Spirits, but I am sure that this will actually work. Well, when I have programmed a Kazon ship that is! I think Kathryn may have forgotten this aspect. I also realise that I have been nudged completely out of the frame. Ha! would she serve under me? Not a snowballs chance in hell!

I just enjoy watching her work again. Leadership, command, it is who she is. It is who I fell in love with. This has been a lesson for me too, reminding me that if we are to have a happy life, she needs to be able to do this, to be this person. Spirits but I am going to have to balance carefully my desire to protect her against her recklessness. I can't trap her into domesticity, into planet side living, we need to be able to find a balance that lets her make these decisions, that lets her fly and yet keeps her and our family yet to be, safe. We are co-equals and I do not own her nor seek to tame her spirit.

I guess this time she has seven years of knowledge of most of them, she knows what makes them tick. She has seven years more command and leadership experience than the cautious but determined newly minted captain at the start of our adventure. I have removed Seska, and i am not adversarial. She wouldn't have known about the Kazon, and I am damn sure she wouldn't have so quickly decided to throw starfleet to the winds and steal a ship! well, maybe.

'so, captain' she finally refers back to me 'if we are to make this work, these are the key crewmembers of mine that will help achieve this. nicoletti, can we contact them?' at least Nicoletti waits for my nod, Kathryn has already made her way to the comms.

'janeway to federation runabouts' she transmits on the federation secure channel.

'captain, I am pleased to hear your voice' an audibly relieved Carey.

'report' she snaps. Truly she is immersed in this holoprogramme, just as we all have been in the training holo's in a previous existence as cadets and ensigns. 

I imagine Kim and Carey standing to attention - huh, be careful Kim, you might sprain something! We all hear the phaser fire and raised voices behind the report particulars, local Kazon attempting to take the voyager crew. Their position is strong, the Kazon weaponry inferior, but he is concerned that they are awaiting a ship. He also reports the increase in the caretaker's pulses. Kathryn looks at me, as we are both aware of what this means. He is slightly less reassured that she is on a maquis ship and is concerned about her safety and the general tenor of her orders. 'captain, this will put us all under maquis control!' he expostulates. Her whipcrack of command returns as she negates this concern and she sends him her very exact orders. Expecting him to await her further commands, she wishes him good fortune.

We have been in this simulation some two hours and I think it is about time that we took a pause. To be frank, I want some of that attention focussed back on me! The story I created has deviated away from the trajectory I had set, but seems to have come to a natural break as we make our way back to Ocampa. And seeing Kathryn in action, well... it has stirred up memories of wanting to sweep her into her ready room after she has been on fire like this, confess my undying love as i take her into my arms... dreams that I can at least now turn into reality

'A break Janeway' I order brusquely nodding to the others. 'there are further issues to discuss, perhaps away from the bridge' she initially looks as if to demur, thinkng perhaps I am challenging her decision to return.

'Do you need reminding that you are no longer Captain?' my raised eyebrow and command tones recalls her back to this being my ship, my crew - at least for now. Spirits but she would be a hard crewmember to run with. Only mutual respect would work. I pity and yet admire Owen Paris for taking this prodigy firmly to hand.

-0-0-0-

'So!' she demands. Damn but she is radiating sassy, smug arrogance as she stands at mock parade in front of me without entering my quarters. I don't even need to ask the question! Would she have served under me? only for as long as it was expedient to do so!

'Dammit woman! the answer was always no wasn't it!' and i haul into my arms and kick the door to my quarters shut. No starfleet swishing doors on the Val Jean. I give her little opportunity to reply as my mouth comes down firmly on hers and i kiss the hell out of her. Spirits but I truly love this woman. We are both breathless when we break apart, and I find that my shirt and waistcoat are undone as well. 'purely maquis operation' she smirks at me. It drives me wild when she does that breathing thing, smelling me and kissing my collar bone as her hands run up my chest, one to rest behind the nape of my neck, and the other to wind under my armpit around my back.

As she kisses up my jawline to nibble again on my lips, rolling her hips against me, I console myself with the fact that she might never have served under me, but my life anyway was always going to be better with her in it. As she pushes me back towards my cot, divesting clothes and barking out a 'freeze programme' to the holosuite I know that as always, she is going to come out on top.

I wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
